I Want to Punch Dow Jones In the Nose
by By Ron McGehee
Things were going pretty well. Mortgages were being paid; the electricity was consistently available; and baby diapers were readily accessible. Then, all of a sudden, Dow Jones is down, and we have to tighten our belt. Who is Dow Jones? Why does my wallet matter if he’s down? Where does he live? I decided to track down some answers.
It turns out Dow Jones is not a person but a company. Not to be confused with the Dow Jones Industrial Average, which they own. The DJIA is an index that is used to measure how well the Stock Market is doing. So, not who but what is the Dow Jones industrial average? The Dow, the oldest continuing U.S. market index, is a way of measuring the combined stock values of 30 big U.S. companies. It started out with 12 components, including now-defunct companies like U.S. Leather and Tennessee Coal, Iron and Railroad. The only original component still around is General Electric. The DJIA, first launched in 1896, was originally calculated by taking the price of one share of each company’s stock, added the numbers up and divided by the number of companies. Now with 30 members in the index and because of stock splits, the calculation is a little more difficult, but nothing you couldn’t figure out with a calculator, a little elbow grease and the number to Billy Lee. (The boy who constantly showed me up in school, and my mother lamented aloud several times why he wasn’t her son).
It affects my wallet because it shows how well American companies are doing in the market. Analysts generally believe it is a useful tool when combined with other market indicators, including the S&P 500 and the Nasdaq Index. I do have some investments in the market, and well, right now let’s just say, I’m hedging some investments in the “blue collar” day trading arena or as some like to call, “Scratchers.”
As a nation, we’ve gone through some tough economic times. We’ve always pulled through, and I think this will be no different. Just like the Great Depression (No, not that time you were dumped right before the Junior Prom), the market was able to stabilize after the election and stability of leadership was established. I believe, as many, that after the 2008 Election when the President is elected, we will be able to move on efficiently to economic growth.
After figuring out who the Dow Jones is, I feel, I cannot punch that many noses…alone. So, my fellow Americans, please unite with me in the punching of…(Hold on, my lawyer is handing me something)... punching of “chads” in the upcoming election. And I do not, in any way, endorse violence as a means of an expression of how you feel. Although, I do feel sorry for this “chad” guy.
| This article is printed by permission. All rights reserved. Husband and wife comedians Kerri Pomarolli and Ron McGehee have made a number of television appearances. They also star in a new reality - based comedy, I Love Kerri, that airs on the Sky Angel network. See episodes @ www.ilovekerri.tv. For more information on Kerri and Ron please visit www.kerripom.com and www.funnyron.com. |
