8 Ways to Live Conflict Free

How to Be Agreeable in the Midst of Conflict

In every relationship, there will be times when you’re going to get hurt. Because when people are involved, perfection goes out the window. But Jesus heals us. He sets us free from our own wounded feelings so we don’t ever have to expect perfection from people; we can simply love them for who they are.

Sometimes we try to convince our spouses, coworkers and kids to be more like us, but that’s not what the Bible teaches us to do. Paul said, “I have learned to be all things to all people.”

You see, we’re all created for freedom and liberty and the expression of that liberty. In other words, if we want to win with people, we need to give them a right to be who they are.

Appreciating Others for Who They Are

Have you ever noticed yourself getting irritated with someone who takes more time to make decisions than you do? Or maybe they don’t catch on to things as quickly as you would like? When we start to get impatient, God’s Word can put us right back in our place.

Romans 12:6 (AMP) says we’re given “gifts (faculties, talents, qualities) that differ according to the grace given us.”

Everybody learns at a different pace. We all have different strengths and ways of doing things. And no person is more valuable than the next.

If we let ourselves get into prideful thinking, we will hurt people by acting out of our own self-importance and our own selfish interests. But the Bible tells us to look after the interests of others as well as our own (see Philippians 2:4).

God doesn’t want us to have a lowly opinion of ourselves, but He certainly doesn’t want us to think we’re better than anyone else!

The Plus Side of Being a Peacemaker

Why does the devil work overtime trying to bring division in relationships? Because there’s power and blessing where there’s unity, but there’s weakness and no blessing where there’s arguing and fighting and bickering.

It actually says in Ephesians 4 that we should be kind and forgiving to one another because all bitterness, anger and evil speaking grieves the Holy Spirit. Now, which one of us would want to grieve the Holy Spirit?

It takes consistent effort to maintain peace and unity in our relationships, letting go of our petty disagreements and our own self-interests. But if we will do this, we can enjoy the benefits of God’s anointing on our life.

A Few Pointers for Peaceable Confrontation

When I’m having a hard time agreeing with others, there are a few things I try to do to keep my attitude right. I encourage you to try them out and see if they work for you.

When you need to have a talk with someone, choose your timing wisely. Pray about what to say and ask God to lead you in each conversation.

Be respectful, even if the other person doesn’t agree with your opinion.

Listen with an open mind. Be willing to pray about what they say.

Keep looking for things to agree about, instead of focusing on what you disagree about.

Use positive body language and voice tones, and choose every word with care.

There will be times in your life when you won’t find a thing to agree on, and in those circumstances, I encourage you to just let it go. Trust God. Become an expert at forgiveness. It will save you countless arguments if you will simply decide, “I think I’m right, but I could be wrong.”